I Have A Voice

 

 They say its the quiet ones you have to watch out for and as you read on you might see there can be some truth to that, but is there really such a thing as...quiet people? The one who does not talk usually observes and with the process of observation comes a world of pondering. Musings that race, skip and even drag out in a slow or dramatic fashion. Noise, soft, but mostly noise; and by noise that does not interpret strictly to something such as banging cymbals into each other senselessly. Sometimes that noise can be music, a song that leaves its mark on every moment, a soundtrack or narration to a world that is aching to be described.

My mind is often a place of organized chaos. Dreams are in that category right over there, memories to the left, and ideas...well, they seem to scatter themselves somewhere in-between, or wherever they choose. That's the thing about inspiration...it has a mind of its own.
In a group conversation, my thoughts are active in participation, but scarcely is the memo passed down to my tongue to get it out. It isn't as though I feel cheated, that I have my own rights and I should say my peace. No, it is a choice, a subconscious decision to listen and learn, smile or even cry. Though, I must admit, there are times when a thought wants to blurt itself out, but is not given proper opportunity. Those are the times that every inch of my mind comes together and cries out a statement that is never heard: "I have a voice. Let me out, please." It is such a faint cry that I barely even hear it and what would the world do with it anyway? Is it even worth verbalizing? Sometimes, perhaps, but for those thoughts forgotten, I might never know.

I seem to have an invisible bank of dimes, built up for every remark that sounds something like this, "You're quiet aren't you?" No, I'd like to respond, but I usually just shrug my shoulders and try to answer that question for myself. Me, quiet? That's hilarious. I have something to say about most things, a response to almost everything, whether it is sure or indecisive. Someone asked me the other day what in the world I was thinking and I laughed. Is it that obvious? Most people can't see it, but there are few who can see past the silence, hear for themselves muffled conversations dripping down from the mind of another. Those are the ones who experience it themselves...this constant madness and silent wonder, a world unseen, an ear-splitting silence that sounds nothing like silence. There might very well be quiet people out there, but I doubt I could ever be categorized amongst them. Could you?

"Be wary of the author. She may put you in a book and kill you." ~Amanda Flynn