Saturday, June 15, 2013

Everything


It was like fire, swimming and singing inside of my soul, the kind that burns without leaving scars. It was like sunshine at it's best hour, kissing the song of the morning with hopes brand new. It was like running with strength that could never be spent, because it was not my own.
    So why did I try to handle those flames on my own terms, when I knew they'd only leave marks inside my chest? Why did I close my eyes to the sunlight, pretending Your Words were a silhouette, burnt out to only me? Why did I look away, put my eyes on the sea I was running on? I knew I'd sink in, just like Peter did.
    The truth is I wasn't scared and that's what scares me most. I thought I'd be able to make it a few steps on my own. You got me that far, I thought I could take it from there. Distractions were piling up and I started creating excuses, little white lies that flowed rapidly through my subconscious. Then it became clear to me, I was handling the wrong kinds of fire. Those little waves that I thought to be so innocent were creeping up on me from behind, growing stronger as I continued to sink, now neck deep in my own mess of excuses. The morning was as night to me, I was deaf to the sound of birds calling, blind and numb to the light that leaked it's way onto my skin. I couldn't feel You or see You anywhere and for the first time in too long, I asked for a rescue.
 

Sometimes in order to see past confusion, we have to stop looking to ourselves for answers. I guess I see that now, clearer than I'd like to admit. I was ridiculous, hands practically peeled to my face trying to walk on water without You.
    I'm thankful for that gentle whisper that said, "Enough. I need to be your everything." Without that little shove, I may never have seen things right. Sometimes we all lose sight of what's important and that's not okay at all.

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