Remember When

Remember when we took off our shoes and walked the rocky shore in the cool Autumn air? Waves left cold salty kisses on the warm sand and we left footprints that washed away within seconds. You all charged the sea with you're clothes on, letting the frigid waves break you're fall. I stood back and smiled, talking with the rest and marveling at you're insanity.

Remember when we sat on the rocky dunes listening to the sea, as the evening sun leaked onto our skin? Thick ocean air blew, rippling our clothes gently.

Remember when we told the ocean goodnight and piled into the car? Most of you were all wet, you're teeth chattering and bodies shaking as you laughed telling yourselves it was worth it. We passed you the rice cakes and peanut butter and you made little sandwiches with them, crunching the sticky snack, while exchanging laughs and conversations that made us laugh.

Remember when we bounced for hours on that big trampoline and the little kids re-taught us games we use to play at their age? We laughed and jumped and then laughed and jumped some more, smiling at the simplicity of it all. Then we joined everyone else at the fire, talking and listening as the embers slowly put us to sleep. We wondered how something so powerful, so potentially dangerous, could have such a gentle hold on us. The stars were out, so we tilted our heads back and watched them glitter in the cool night air. Everything wasn't as it should be, in fact our troubles were piling up, but we let ourselves forget that day, soaking in every moment.
One day you'll ask me or I'll ask you if we remember when and we'll smile at the memory, looking back at how far we've come.

Carvings and Scars

You carved You're name on my heart and though the process of engraving hurt, I am forever indebted to You for this stain, this mark of love.

For years I was searching, the darkness was closing in on me. I heard You're voice in the distance, but thought I could find the way all on my own, but You stepped in and knocked me off my feet, with a push so fierce, but gentle all at once.

And now what's left of me, but a sinner decreasing gradually? I want there to be less of me, strange isn't it? I never longed for it before, but now it is my deepest desire.
Sometimes I still wander, away from You're touch, but I only think I've gone somewhere without You, for You are in me, You're mark tells me I belong in You're arms.
I run my fingers across the scar and feel You're love. You wrote it there, You're name. I can't see it with these eyes, or feel it with these hands, but the carving is there and somehow it always brings me back to You're embrace. Because You have stained me with You're love, I am forever changed and still, by You're grace unfathomable, I am changing.

I Have Time For This

Clocks move fast and I know I should be moving even faster. I'm already late, but something stops me. I don't have time for this! I tell myself, while starting for the stairs. I can't move though, I'm frozen. It's like I know that I don't even have a choice. Learn to appreciate a beautiful moment without you're camera! I preach to myself, but it doesn't work.

The shutter clicks once, then again, three times, maybe seven. Voices shout to me from lower floors, reminding me that I have to be somewhere. Okay, that's enough. I decide.

I race down the hallway, retracing my steps back to my room. I return the camera to its safe place in the bag and then slam the door behind me.

The Artist is constantly at work, splashing His creations all over everywhere, but most of the time the audience is looking in the wrong direction. It isn't that beauty has vanished, just that we are blinded to it...no, distracted from it. The sounds of ticking clocks seems to overpower the gentle whispers of His presence and sadly, we scarce think twice about it.

Were always late for something, or fighting to get there on time. Priorities build in our minds, cluttering our thoughts with the trivial things. The Artist is more than aware of this and His response is far too gracious for my mind to even grasp. His brush tickles the canvas, splashing colors and shapes everywhere. It's almost as if He were telling us to just slow down, stop and remember that He is the purpose in all of this.

Busy or not, we need to stay focused. Our main pursuit is Christ, our one desire should be to know and love Him with all of our hearts. He is a jealous God. He wants our all and we should want to give it to Him. Sure, we might have places to be or people to see, but in doing those things, let's stay awake, fully awake to the gentle whispers and reminders that He sets before us. Think about it...what if you were to cook up a feast, a massive feast. There you are, staring at the table, waiting for the ones you love to come in and enjoy it. They rush through the room, notice it briefly and then say, "I don't have time for this!" They don't even taste a bite of it, they just race through the door and leave you standing there. They don't even say thank you. 

How often do we stop to acknowledge God's creations and thank Him for the privilege of enjoying them? Have our senses become so dull to the wonder around us, that we think the fleeting treasures of this world are of greeter import? Next time you see the Artist's handiwork, stop. Say thank you. Don't just rush out the door. Tell yourself, "I have time for this." Even if you can only spare a few moments, spare it. Sharpen you're senses. Stay awake. It will change everything. It will be worth it.

"You shall not bow down to them or serve them, 

for I the LORD your God am a jealous God" ~Exodus 20:5

Faith Like A Mustard Seed

"Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to thee

How great Thou art, how great Thou art.

Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to thee

How great Thou art, how great Thou art."

The air is crisp and clean, I wrap my sweater a little closer and close my eyes. A smile dances its way across my cheeks and I can't help it. The birds sing endlessly, the trees ruffle softly and I feel You're nearness. It's been too long. Unbelief has been my constant companion, feeding bits of poison into my subconscious and nagging at my conscience. This heart, restless and running, gasping for breath, finally slowed down, and in those moments of quiet, the choice came. Would I entertain distraction, or fight for a moment in You're presence?
Closed toed shoes grip the wooden floor and rock the swing, slowly, back and forth. Summer has officially become a memory and thus the transition into Autumn begins. Out in the open air, it seems easier to open my heart to You. My head is cleared of manmade distractions and I breathe in You're wonders, drink in the sights and smells of tranquil surroundings.
I can't write anything decent and so I pen simplicity, preaching truths to myself, until they sink in. Ink oozes onto the page, straight from my heart, as I start to feel awake again. You put a song in my head and for some reason I search for the lyrics. In the stillness of solitude I sing them out, these marvelous words that match the happy musings on my heart. I understand it then, that it isn't about me. It isn't my world, it's Yours.
Faith comes like a waterfall when I point my eyes and heart in the right direction. Thoughts of how You created this world, man out of dust, breathed it all into existence with the sound of You're voice...these thoughts continue to wake me up. Belief builds, unbelief dies. Doubts shatter at the remembrance of You're greatness and I am filled with a joy unspeakable, one that does not depend on circumstance.

"O Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder

Consider all the works thy hands have made

I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder

Thy power throughout the universe displayed."

"When through the woods, and forest glades I wander

And hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees

When I look down, from lofty mountain grandeur 

And see the brook, and feel the gentle breeze."

"And when I think, that God His Son not sparing

Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in

That on the cross, my burden gladly bearing

He bled and died to take away my sin."

True satisfaction comes only from the saturation of mind and heart, in the person of Christ. The reality that I am here for You're purposes and not my own cannot be emphasized enough. You are the reason for all of this. You are the reason. You are the reason! How often do I get caught up in my own selfishness and then cast the blame on You for being distant? And You forgive me? Again and again, you pull me near? 

What if all of my dreams have died and continue to die? It doesn't matter. What if people let me down, over and over again? It doesn't matter. What if circumstance is ugly? It doesn't matter! You are the reason for all of this and no matter what I tell myself, it's not about me.

My faith is small, yes. It's about as impressive as a mustard seed, but I'm planting that thing in the dirt and I believe and see that it is and will continue to grow into something stronger, strong enough to tell mountains what to do and they will listen.

 He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you. " ~Matthew 17:20